Understanding Adultism and How to Challenge It

Do you know what adultism is?

Have you ever dismissed a young person’s opinion because they’re “too young to understand”? Or witnessed a child’s ideas being invalidated simply because of their age? These moments are more than just dismissiveness; they’re examples of adultism, a form of age-based prejudice that prioritizes the voices and authority of adults over young people. The meaning of adultism lies in its systemic bias that favors adults, often at the expense of the autonomy and rights of children and youth.

Adultism doesn’t just harm youth and children. It fosters disconnection, stifles creativity, and engrains unhealthy power dynamics into our culture. For sensitive adults, those who experienced adultism at a young age may still carry wounds that impact their mental health and self-esteem. Adultism can also manifest as abuse, including emotional or psychological mistreatment, where adults misuse their power over children and youth.

This post dives deep into understanding adultism, its impact, and how individuals, communities, and professionals like Dr. Mandelbaum can help address this pervasive issue. You’ll learn to identify adultism, understand its consequences, and explore tools like trauma-informed care to heal and foster mutually respectful youth-adult relationships.

Introduction to the Issue

Adultism is a pervasive issue that touches the lives of young people across all ages, backgrounds, and communities. At its core, adultism is a form of discrimination that gives adults power and authority over children and youth, often at the expense of their self-esteem and sense of agency. In our society, it’s common for adults to make decisions for young people without their input, dismiss their ideas, or talk down to them simply because of their age. This imbalance of power can undermine the confidence of children and youth, making it harder for them to develop a strong sense of self-worth and independence.

Adam Fletcher, a leading voice in youth empowerment, describes adultism as a major obstacle to building positive youth-adult relationships. When adults consistently overlook or undervalue the perspectives of young people, it not only harms individual self-esteem but also limits our society’s ability to grow and innovate. Recognizing adultism as a distinct form of discrimination is the first step toward creating a culture where all ages are respected and valued for their unique contributions.

Adultism

At its core, adultism is the act of undermining or marginalizing young people based on their age. Adam Fletcher, a leading advocate for youth empowerment and founder of the Freechild Institute, sums it up well:

“Adultism is any attitude or action that discounts young people.”

The word ‘adultism’ has evolved over time, originally describing physical traits but now encompassing discriminatory attitudes, beliefs, and power dynamics between adults and youth.

Adultism manifests in schools, families, workplaces, and community spaces. Whether it’s educators ignoring students’ insights or parents refusing to explain decisions, the underlying message is clear: being younger equates to being less capable, less valid, and unworthy of respect. These adultist beliefs about young people’s abilities contribute to ongoing discrimination and reinforce stereotypes. The outdated idea that children and youth are inherently less capable or unable to handle information or decisions perpetuates adultism and limits youth agency.

While adultism may be deeply ingrained in societal norms, that doesn’t mean it’s harmless. It is also important to recognize that age-based prejudice can affect older people as well, and both adultism and ageism against older adults are forms of discrimination that should be addressed.

Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash

Forms of Adultism

Adultism can show up in subtle and overt ways. Adultism can take many forms, including internalized, institutionalized, and other forms, highlighting its systemic and pervasive nature. It functions as a form of oppression that systematically denies young people’s rights and autonomy. Here are some key ways it manifests:

1. Within Families

• Parents dismiss a teenager’s mental health struggles as mere “phases,” discouraging teenagers from speaking openly about their feelings and challenges.
• Teenagers are sometimes discouraged from speaking up about their needs or opinions within families, reinforcing adultist attitudes that silence youth voices.
• Adults enforce rules without considering children’s emotional needs or input.

2. Schools and Education Systems

• Teachers dominate discussions while discouraging students from expressing dissenting views.
• Policies disproportionately punish or isolate students without addressing their real concerns.
• Students may be discouraged from seeking support from their peers or participating in peer-led initiatives, limiting opportunities for empowerment and youth voice.
• School policies can impact students’ access to healthcare, and adultist assumptions may restrict their ability to seek confidential healthcare services.

One study even found that schools practicing adultist attitudes see lower levels of engagement and worse academic performance among students.

3. Community Settings

• Youth voices are left out of community planning efforts, even when decisions directly affect their lives.
• Young people are denied leadership roles in organizations or public programs simply due to perceptions of inexperience.
• Youth groups or collectives can play a significant role in challenging adultism by advocating for inclusion and systemic change within their communities.
• Agencies, such as government or community agencies, are essential in supporting youth voice and addressing adultism by implementing inclusive policies and fostering partnerships with young people.

By identifying these patterns, we can start to bridge awareness toward action.

The Experience of Facing Adultism

For many young people, facing adultism is a daily reality that can leave them feeling unheard and powerless. Whether in schools, community organizations, or within their own families, young people often encounter situations where adults dismiss their opinions or exclude them from important decisions. For example, a teenager might be told they are “too young” to understand a family issue, or a student’s suggestion in a school meeting might be brushed aside without consideration.

These experiences can be deeply frustrating and can erode a young person’s confidence in their own decisions. When adults consistently make choices on behalf of youth without seeking their input, it sends a message that their voices don’t matter. This can lead to feelings of isolation and discourage young people from speaking up in the future. However, it’s important to remember that adultism is not an unchangeable part of life. By recognizing when it happens and supporting each other, young people can challenge adultist attitudes, advocate for their rights, and work with allies in community organizations to create more inclusive environments where their perspectives are valued.

The Impact of Adultism

The damaging effects of adultism ripple across mental health, self-esteem, and even into adulthood. Some key areas include:

Lowered Self-Esteem:

Youth frequently experiencing adultism are more likely to doubt their decisions and abilities. Research shows this can lead to chronic self-doubt, even as they grow older. Kids who are consistently dismissed or undervalued may suffer long-term consequences, including hindered personal development and a diminished sense of self-worth.

Mental Health Struggles:

Adults who’ve experienced adultism at a young age are at an increased risk of developing anxiety, depression, and emotion-regulation difficulties. Without intervention, these issues can persist into their adult years.

“I felt like my opinions didn’t matter just because I was younger.”

– Anonymous Young Person

Barriers to Help-Seeking Behavior:

Young people facing adultism are less likely to seek help for emotional challenges due to a belief that their problems will be trivialized. Community organizations have flagged adultism as a significant obstacle to nurturing youth empowerment.

Stifled Innovation and Leadership:

When children grow up feeling consistently unheard, it discourages leadership and limits their ability to make strides in creating positive change. Adultism can hinder the development of leadership skills and personal growth in young people by restricting opportunities for them to participate in decision-making and community programs. “Adultism prevents young people from taking leadership positions,” explains the Freechild Institute.

Adultism Versus Healthy Boundaries

It’s essential to distinguish adultism from healthy boundary-setting within youth-adult relationships.

Adultism stems from authoritarian attitudes or actions, such as silencing opinions or speaking “down” to youth. Healthy boundaries, on the other hand, involve mutual communication and understanding while offering necessary guidance.

For instance:

• Adultist Behavior: “You’ll do this because I said so, and that’s final.”
• Healthy Boundaries: “I understand why you feel that way, but here’s why this decision needs to be made.”

By swapping dismissive language for dialogue, we empower young people without compromising roles as mentors or guardians.

Building Positive Youth-Adult Relationships

Challenging adultism starts with building positive youth-adult relationships rooted in respect, trust, and collaboration. When adults recognize the value and potential of young people, it opens the door to more meaningful connections and shared decision-making. Educators, parents, and community leaders can make a significant difference by actively listening to youth, inviting them to participate in decisions that affect their lives, and encouraging them to take on leadership roles.

Organizations like the Freechild Institute, founded by Adam Fletcher, offer valuable resources and support for those seeking to challenge adultism and foster empowering relationships. By shifting our attitudes and practices, we can create a society where young people are not only heard but are also empowered to make their own decisions and shape their futures. This approach benefits everyone—when youth and adults work together, communities become stronger, more innovative, and better equipped to address the challenges of our world. By committing to these changes, we can help ensure that every young person has the opportunity to make a real difference in their own lives and in the broader community.

How to Challenge Adultism

Challenging adultism requires collective effort from individuals, families, and community organizations. These strategies were developed through research and personal experience to effectively address adultism. Adultism is increasingly being recognized as a significant social issue, and more institutions are taking steps to address it through these collective efforts. Here are five strategies to create change, and when these approaches are put into practice, positive transformations can happen for both youth and adults alike:

1. Start by Listening

Ensure young people feel heard, valued, and respected. Actively ask for their input, even in small everyday matters.

2. Educate Yourself and Others

Spread knowledge about adultism among teachers, parents, and community leaders. Promote workshops that highlight respectful youth-adult communication.

3. Empower Leadership

Encourage youth-driven initiatives by giving them leadership opportunities. Programs like those by the Freechild Institute are great models of empowerment.

4. Implement Policies that Include Youth Voices

At schools, for instance, include students in decision-making processes such as school councils or disciplinary policies.

5. Advocate for Dialogue-Based Parenting

Parents can foster respect by including their children in discussions about rules or major family decisions.

These changes may seem small, but together they create the building blocks of positive youth-adult relationships.

Healing Adultism With DBT and Trauma-Informed Care

For sensitive adults who’ve been significantly impacted by adultism, healing is possible. With expert support, you can rebuild your self-esteem, regulate emotions effectively, and reclaim your power.

A growing body of literature supports the use of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and trauma-informed care for individuals affected by adultism. Dr. Matthew Mandelbaum’s approach integrates these methods to support individuals who’ve experienced adultism. DBT helps clients manage the ripple effects of adultism by teaching emotional resilience and mindfulness. Trauma-informed care addresses the deep-rooted effects of emotional neglect or invalidation traced back to childhood.

Dr. Mandelbaum provides therapy to professionals, students, and families in 43 states, tailoring personalized solutions to help individuals heal and thrive.

Photo by Simon Maage on Unsplash

Take the First Step Toward Healing

Adultism doesn’t have to define your past, present, or future. Whether you’ve experienced adultism firsthand or wish to foster change within your community, there’s help available.

Dr. Mandelbaum’s compassionate, evidence-based therapy can empower you to overcome these challenges and build lasting emotional resilience. To learn more about how you can begin your healing process or make a difference in the lives of young people, explore our therapy services today.

Your voice matters. It always has.

Learn About Adultism: Key Resources & Insights

Explore these authoritative sources—definitions, research, toolkits, and practical strategies to understand and resist adultism:

• National Youth Rights Association – Understanding Adultism | A foundational guide that defines adultism as the bias that adults are inherently “better than young people,” and outlines common manifestations in schools, laws, and everyday attitudes.
• Adam F.C. Fletcher – “Intro to Adultism” (Mar 2025) | A recent, insightful piece describing adultism as a societal addiction, offering clear definitions and examples across institutions and daily life.
• Act for Youth – Framework & Worksheet | PDF handouts highlighting manifestations of adultism, youth responses, long-term effects, and alternative behaviors to combat it.
• UN Scientific & Technical Reviews – Adultism & Sexual Health | A research-backed article discussing adultism in the context of sexual health, emphasizing how age-based power dynamics suppress youth voices.
• Wikipedia – “Adultism” | A comprehensive overview, including definitions, history, types (attitudinal, cultural, structural), and documented evidence of age-based discrimination.
• RHNTC – Recognizing Adultism & Alternative Caring Behaviors (2025) | A practical toolkit aimed at helping adults engage respectfully with youth—complete with reflective exercises and supportive strategies.
• Ophelia’s Place – Resisting Adultism (2019) | A resource with thought-provoking strategies and sample statements that adults use—and how to replace them with respectful alternatives.

How to Use These Resources

• Start with definitions (NYRA, Fletcher, Wikipedia) to fully grasp what adultism is and why it matters.
• Use worksheets (Act for Youth, RHNTC) to analyze your own behaviors and identify adultist patterns.
• Read experiential and research-based content (Trailhead, Ophelia’s Place) to explore adultism in specific settings—like sexual health or education.
• Apply strategies by replacing adultist comments and assumptions with respectful, youth-centered approaches.

Understanding and countering adultism isn’t just a matter of awareness—it’s a call to action. These resources provide both the knowledge and the tools to shift power dynamics, amplify young voices, and foster mutual respect in all relationships.

Let me know if you’d like help integrating exercises or real-world examples into your blog!