A therapist and client in a modern office setting, engaged in a counseling session. What to Talk About in Therapy

What to Talk About in Therapy: Practical Tips for Effective Sessions

December 19, 2024
Dr. Matthew Mandelbaum

Have you ever wondered what to talk about in therapy? Starting therapy can feel daunting, especially if you’re unsure what to discuss. But therapy is a safe, judgment-free space to explore your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Whether you’re grappling with big life challenges, seeking clarity, or striving for personal growth, therapy can help you take that first step.

This guide will break down some key areas to focus on during your therapy sessions. From setting goals to exploring emotions, understanding relationships, and navigating anxiety, we’ll walk you through how to make the most of your experience.

What to Talk About in Therapy | Preparing for Therapy

Understand the Therapy Process

Therapy is a personalized experience that revolves around you. A typical therapy session involves discussing your thoughts, feelings, and experiences with a trained therapist. The goal? To help you process emotions, uncover patterns, develop coping strategies, and work toward lasting positive changes.

The process may feel unfamiliar at first. Many therapists use evidence-based methods like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) to guide sessions and ensure you’re on the right track. Understanding this structure can help you feel more comfortable and ready to engage.

Set Clear Goals and Expectations for Your Treatment Plan

Every successful therapy experience begins with clear goals. Ask yourself:

  • Why am I seeking therapy?

  • What do I hope to achieve?

Whether it’s managing anxiety, improving relationships, or overcoming difficult emotions, your therapist will work with you to create a tailored treatment plan based on your aspirations.

The best sessions are built on open communication. Be honest with your therapist about what’s working (or not) and address new challenges as they arise.

What to Talk About in Therapy | Exploring Your Thoughts and Feelings

Emotional Awareness and Regulation

Discussing emotions is a central part of therapy. You might explore how certain feelings arise, how they affect your daily life, and how you cope with them. Gaining emotional awareness is the starting point for meaningful self-discovery.

For example, if you often feel overwhelmed, therapy can help you identify triggers and develop strategies—like breathing exercises or mindfulness techniques—to regulate your mood and stress levels.

Challenging Thought Patterns and Beliefs

Our thoughts shape how we feel and behave. Therapy can help uncover “unhelpful patterns” of thinking, such as negative self-talk or rigid beliefs that lead to anxiety or self-doubt.

Maybe you feel stuck or struggle with intrusive thoughts like “I’m not good enough” or “I always fail.” A good therapist will guide you in challenging these beliefs, reframing them into constructive, positive ones.

Tip: Before your next session, jot down any recurring thoughts or moments that stood out during your week. It’s a great way to fuel meaningful conversation with your therapist.

Managing Anxiety and Stress

Understanding Anxiety Disorders

Dealing with anxiety can feel isolating, but you’re not alone. Anxiety disorders affect many people, and therapy offers a structured way to address them. A given session might focus on understanding how anxiety manifests for you—whether through obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), intrusive thoughts, or chronic stress.

Your therapist can help you create customized coping strategies to manage symptoms effectively. These strategies might include problem-solving approaches, CBT techniques, or relaxation methods like progressive muscle relaxation.

Develop Healthy Coping Mechanisms with Breathing Exercises

Managing stress often requires building healthy habits. Your therapist can introduce techniques like:

  • Breathing Exercises to calm your nervous system during high-stress moments.

  • Problem-Solving Strategies to tackle daily challenges that contribute to stress.

  • Mindfulness Practices to keep you grounded in the present moment.

Adopting these tools can significantly improve your overall well-being.

Stress Management

Stress management is an essential aspect of maintaining good mental health. When we experience stress, our bodies respond with a fight-or-flight reaction, releasing hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. While these hormones can help us respond to immediate threats, chronic stress can have negative effects on both our mental and physical health.

In therapy, you can work with your therapist to develop stress management techniques that work for you. This might include:

  • Deep Breathing Exercises: These exercises can help calm your body and mind by slowing your heart rate and reducing tension.

  • Progressive Muscle Relaxation: This technique involves tensing and then slowly relaxing different muscle groups to release physical tension.

  • Mindfulness Meditation: Practicing mindfulness can increase self-awareness and help you stay grounded in the present moment, reducing overall stress.

  • Problem-Solving Strategies: Addressing the underlying causes of stress through structured problem-solving can help you feel more in control.

  • Cognitive-Behavioral Techniques: Challenging negative thought patterns can reduce stress by changing the way you perceive and react to stressful situations.

By incorporating these stress management techniques into your daily routine, you can reduce your overall stress levels and improve your mental health.

Navigating Relationships and Interpersonal Issues

Exploring Your Relationships

Our relationships—whether with family, friends, or partners—can have a significant impact on our mental health. Discussing these dynamics in therapy helps you identify patterns, address conflicts, and develop healthier communication skills.

For example, you might realize you have difficulty setting boundaries with a loved one or struggle with assertiveness at work. Therapy provides a space to process these observations and build confidence in addressing them.

Conflict Resolution and Assertiveness

Many therapy seekers want to improve their communication and conflict-resolution skills. Your therapist can guide you through practical exercises to develop assertiveness without aggression. Learning to express yourself effectively is equally important in personal and professional relationships.

If you feel stuck in a recurring conflict (with your spouse, colleague, or friend), bring it up in your next session. Role-playing scenarios with your therapist can provide new insights and approaches to resolving issues.

person in black long sleeve shirt holding white ceramic mug

Making the Most of Your Therapy Sessions

Be Open, Honest, and Prepared

To maximize the benefits of therapy, openness is key. Bring your authentic self to every session—no matter how messy or uncomfortable it may feel. A journal can be invaluable here; use it to track your emotions, reflect on experiences, or note conversation starters for your therapist.

Also, revisit your therapy goals regularly. Reflect on progress and adjust them as needed to align with your evolving needs and priorities.

Overcome Setbacks and Build Resilience

Therapy is not always linear. Some weeks you’ll feel immense progress, while others may feel stagnant or even discouraging. This is normal. Share these feelings with your therapist—they can help you develop strategies to keep moving forward.

Remember, lasting change takes time. Consistency and patience are equally important in your therapy journey. Celebrate small wins along the way, and trust the long-term process.

Maintaining Progress

Maintaining progress in therapy requires effort and commitment from both you and your therapist. Here are some tips to help you stay on track:

  • Set Clear Therapy Goals: Work with your therapist to develop a treatment plan that outlines your goals and the steps needed to achieve them.

  • Attend Regular Therapy Sessions: Consistency is key. Make sure to attend your sessions regularly and stick to your schedule.

  • Practice Self-Reflection: Outside of therapy sessions, take time to reflect on your thoughts and behaviors. This can help you stay aware of your progress and areas that need improvement.

  • Develop a Growth Mindset: Be open to learning and trying new things. Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth.

  • Be Patient and Persistent: Progress in therapy may not always be linear. It’s important to be patient with yourself and persistent in your efforts.

Remember, maintaining progress in therapy is equally important as making progress. It’s normal to feel stuck at times, but don’t hesitate to discuss these feelings with your therapist. Together, you can find ways to overcome obstacles and keep moving forward.

Additionally, having a good therapist who is a good fit for you is crucial. If you feel like you’re not clicking with your therapist, it may be time to consider finding a new one. There are many therapists out there, and it’s okay to take the time to find the right one for you.

By prioritizing your mental health and committing to the therapy process, you can make positive changes in your life and maintain progress towards your goals.

listen, informal meeting, chatting

Taking the First Step Toward Positive Change

Therapy is an opportunity to take control of your mental health and life. It’s a safe space to address your struggles, develop resilience, and work toward positive changes.

Remember—what you talk about in therapy is completely up to you. Whether it’s relationships, emotions, or new challenges, the right therapist will help you feel comfortable, supported, and heard.

If you’re still unsure where to begin, that’s okay. Simply start with what brought you to therapy in the first place. Over time, discussions will flow naturally, helping you uncover deeper insights and solutions.

Take that first step toward better mental health today. Your best self is waiting.

Resources to Support Your Mental Health Journey

Here are some helpful resources to guide and support you as you work toward positive change:

  • National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) – Provides education, advocacy, and support for individuals and families affected by mental health conditions.

  • MentalHealth.gov – Offers information on mental health topics, resources, and how to get help when needed.

  • Psychology Today – A platform to find licensed therapists and read articles on various mental health topics.

  • Crisis Text Line – Free, confidential support via text message for anyone in crisis—text HOME to 741741 to connect with a counselor.

  • Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) – Offers a national helpline and resources for individuals facing mental health or substance use challenges.

  • Mind – A UK-based organization providing mental health support, information, and services to anyone in need.

  • Headspace – A meditation and mindfulness app designed to promote mental well-being through guided exercises and tips.

  • Support Group Central – Get connected with peer support groups and certified coaches.

  • 7 Cups – An anonymous platform for emotional support, offering trained listeners and online therapy.

  • Mental Health America (MHA) – A non-profit organization offering screening tools, resources, and advocacy for mental health awareness and support.

  • Calm – A popular app focused on relaxation and mental wellness, offering guided meditations, sleep aids, and stress-reduction techniques.

Feel free to explore these resources as part of your mental health wellness plan, and don’t hesitate to reach out for additional support when needed. to free and low-cost online support groups for mental health and wellness.